Why do all the bad things always come at once?

I’m one step away from getting a flight back to a Buddhist temple and telling society to go flush itself.

First, let me express that I write on Medium to improve my writing skills and put my mind at ease, I could do it in a diary or notebook like a normal human but I’m quite bad at focusing on a task out of a computer.

With that said, let me express that I feel alone when this happens, even though I know any of my friends would be happy to do a facetime and cheer me up, I feel alone and like a heavy weight for putting this on my friends. Like me, thousands of people feel alone when things start getting dark and all of them happen at the same time.

I try to remember all the lessons and meditations I learned, I might even drop some tears listening to some great songs due to the stress of what will happen to me… I try to put together strategies and tons of post-it notes like a crime scene panel to find possible solutions but… it still sucks that even looking at the positive, s**t happens.

If you feel this way sometimes, let me tell you, you are not alone. We all lose our will at a moment of mental chaos, we all feel horrible when we know we have people and friends who would be next to us but still, they won’t really understand what we’re going through if we tell them.

I spent the whole day lifting myself up, being strong like a rock, smiling and telling people how awesome and fun my day is and some nights, I crumble and break down due to uncertainty and stress.

Is totally normal, you’re not alone :D

As for why it all happens at once? No real clue about it, Karma, maybe a random god being pissed with you for being happy for too long, the universe kicking you out of your comfort zone… the reasons could be endless, but at the end of the day, it won’t change the truth and your situation.

You have yourself, you have your talents, your personality, you have been through s**t before and you are capable of living through whatever stuff is going on, the same as I am.

We’ve survived weird childhoods, disappointments from people around us, losing friends and family, crying the hell out of us, physical pain, sicknesses… the list goes on and on.

All I can say is: It is ok to crumble :D